Monday, 29 August 2011

Tomorrow Is When The War Begins

Tomorrow shall be the first day of the rest of my life. I am Harriet Rowland and tomorrow I shall start in my battle. The battle to beat my own personal dog.
Osteosarcoma. This is my mission and considering how many times my phone has gone off. I have a support crew that could fill a stadium.

Today, I went to school. This in itself is strange, not because I am some rebellious child and wag all the time. It is strange simply because its seems so unimportant and insignificant now. The things that really matter to me are my friends and family and spending as much time with them.

Today, I flew to Auckland. My parents and my brother fuss over me. I am in a private room (which I am told is a very good thing!!). However, the curtains are mustard and the toilet has a nana seat over it. Overall, I would give this accommodation a 3/10. It is odd at night though. Its not quiet as there are constant sounds, yet there is this airy quietness the permeates the whole hospital. I feel like I am trapped in an old folks home! The thing about being here (with no wifi!!!) is the isolation. The fact that I mentioned isolation means I have definitely been at school for far too long. I observe this room and the thing that I notice is the bed is alone in the centre of the room and if my life was indeed was like a movie, this shot would be examined as portraying isolation.

Today, I found out I might never ski again. This may not sound like much to some but skiing is one of the most important things to me. Its something I have done with my family for my entire life. Its one thing I am good at. It makes me happy. No. It makes me elated. Nothing beats the rush of that first drop or the wind slapping your face. On a side note, I might also become infertile.


  1. keep positive hat :) love you so much!
    in the mean time i'm gonna pack myself into a suitcase and sneak onto a flight to auckland.

    people won't be suspicious of a walking suitcase will they?


  2. Absolutely stunning writing Hat!

    Your support team is truly huge and totally committed!

    I wonder about the advice about skiing. I stopped and watched in awe as a group of skiers with a range of physical challenges zipped on by when I was at Mt Hutt with Sophie and Alice a couple of weeks ago. They were so cool. Where there's a will there's a way - and you have it in spades!

    Go girl!



  3. No wifi is ridiiiiiiculous! Mustard curtains though, what were they thinking. We need to come up and interior decorate totally ;) AT LEAST you aren't in shared room, would be truly terrible. My cousin who had cancer in his knee (not sure if same type) can still ski though I think if that cheers you up at all, I think you'll definitely find a way :)

    hope you're doing well (and that hospital food is not too terrible!), hobbits all love and miss you ridiculous amounts ♥
    xxxx megan

  4. Thanks for your update Hattie. Sydney seems a long way away right now & I wish I could be there to give you an enormous suffocating hug!

    Love you.


  5. Hiya Harriet

    It's Becky, Peggy's daughter here. Thank you for your honesty and it's fantastic to be able to read how you're feeling and what happens next.
    I'm also with Megan.......mustard curtains and a Nana toilet!!! I'm not really sure what a Nana toilet is but if it smells like an old people's home.......time to leave. Watch out for the brussel sprouts next.

    Sending you lots of healing vibes (vibes are NEVER mustard coloured!!)

  6. I just miss you Hat. Just making sure you know I still love you and haven't forgotten you :)
    You are a genuine inspiration and I love you.
    Please don't hate me for not coming in to see you yet!!
    xox :)
    Lots of love,

  7. Hat, your war is over. You may have fought your war on the physical battlefield of your body but to every soul who's life you touched on the outside world, it looked as anything but. Your courage, your inspiration and your sheer love of life bears mark of a woman determined not to let her personal battle interfere with the joys of life and living. You will always be remembered Hat, for as cruel as life may be, you are a blessing to us all and your life was lived to the absolute max. Thank you for our friendship, your advice and inspiration as a human being, may you rest in peace. x Stephen