Monday 16 June 2014

Every once in a while my mind catches a bit of Hattie. My beautiful sister. I know anyone would give anything to bring her back for a moment.

Sometimes I feel guilty for not feeling as I should. Every moment of joy is tainted.

There was no surprise in her passing, no shock, no wonder why. I just miss her so much it eats me inside.

She was an example to us all of how to deal with adversity. I hope her message and story are passed wide and far.

Harriet passed away bathed in the glow of the morning sun and those who loved her. I hope we are all so lucky.

Harriet Rowland 1993-2014

Rest easy sis, the bro with the most.

Friday 21 February 2014

A Quick Flick

I wish I could make this some giant essay and who knows maybe I will be sane enough or well enough.
This week has been a week of massive highs and massive lows. I think I may be strumming my poor families final string to sanity. For some reason my body just isn't coping, I am so sore and the meds just aren't working like they are supposed to. On Wednesday I had one of the most magical nights as I launched my book 'The Book Of Hat' into the world! It is actually amazing and the night was out of the world spectacular! The first print run has sold out but If you want to buy copies of "The Book of Hat" you can contact the publisher Mary McCallum at What people didn't realize at the magical launch was that in the morning poor mum wasn't even sure if I was going to be alive in the afternoon to do this.It surprises me sometimes how she doubts my abilities. There was no way I was missing my own book launch. But this is also an apology as to why I have been out of communicado. I am now an in patient at Mary Potter hospice just while they try to sort out what meds and stuff I need so that I can still function but I am not in pain because I have had to been choosing and neither option is pleasant really. Anyways, as always I get very bored in hospital/now hospice so would love visits to keep me company! PS I even hear dogs may be allowed to visit hospices!!!! Silver lining to every cloud.

Without these wonderful people the night would have not been able to happen! Thank you again.
 Mary and Paul! My awesome publishers from Makaro Press
Mac and Me

My amazing family.

Sunday 2 February 2014

My Wee Hiatus

I guess I have taken a wee vacation-e from writing on here. It's been kinda a hard time this past month and I guess I probably should have wrote on it earlier but I haven't really been well enough or well enough to let people know what's been happening.

Also Tom and Dad also jetted off to North America to do some amazing skiing and I didn't really want to worry them like I knew I would if I started writing.

This last month has been really quite hard. I ended up getting out of hospital for a splendid couple of days after New Years. Then rather crappily, the day after Tom and Dad left my health started going downhill. I ended up spending one of the longest stints in hospital EVER. Not because I was terribly unwell the entire time (though I was) but because I couldn't seem to make myself better. Normally by day 5 I am starting to perk up at least a little but not this time.

It's seemed like my body had almost had enough. It was refusing to eat anything, I was very weak (I have basically lost all and any muscle that I possessed) 

My lungs have decided enough is enough, they don't really like working on their own either so now I have to be constantly linked to oxygen which is actually such a pain. 

It has been really hard because I haven't seen much of a way out of this one for me but it's been nice because finally I managed to get home and then the family arrived home. I am constantly have oxygen and steroids to make me eat I am seeming to get better. A little food and home time seem to be pushing me back in the right direction. Not leaps and bounds better but I am able to go on little outings and having things to look forward to again I feel makes me feel better.

Things aren't great like I am so much better than I was 2 weeks ago but it's still on the scale of not well and I can't promise they are going to get better. Right now I'm kinda happy just to have a little solace from this storm, being able to eat and not be in hospital. It's really quite nice!

I may not have much time left, that much is obvious to most who see me but I will not go out sad. I am simply living the life I love in the way I love. 

Thursday 2 January 2014

A Spot Of Pneumonia

Just giving everyone a quick update as to what is happening in my crazy life.

On Christmas Eve I first started feeling short of breath and on Friday the 27th I decided I couldn't ignore it anymore so I told mum and dad, I need to go to hospital and they willingly obliged.

On the 27th, they found the there was fluid on the other (the right) side (compared with the left). There wasn't as much fluid as there was last time so they drained it and I was allowed to go home

I was meant to be flying up to Waiheke Island and staying in this most stunning house which won house of the year for 2013! We were also meant to be staying with Jannie and Frank who are some of my favorite people in the world.

I decided that I still wanted to go but flying was out of the question so this time I made the other parent drive me to Auckland so dad obligingly did so. Aren't I lucky!

I made it up there but by that evening I wasn't feeling well and my oral antibiotics just weren't seeming to work. However we had missed the last ferry and had to wait til the morning and during this time dad put together an idea.

So the next day we trotted off to see the Waiheke GP and he gave me antibiotics which had to be given twice daily as antibiotics into my bum. About as nice as it sounds.

It actually seemed to work, I felt a bit better and my temp went down but it didn't last so by the 1st it was apparent I needed to go to the hospital. However I decided I didn't want to go to Auckland, so both parents did an almighty dash with me in the back in the car to here, Wellington hospital.

I get to reside here until I beat down this pneumonia. I have so much to decide in the near future which is rather scary.

In my life though I realized the things that are important and that's the people, so even though I'm sick now back in ward 5 north in Wellington hospital, I still managed to see and do all the things I wanted to which is kinda cool.

PS if people want to visit please do. :) I would love some visitors!

Sunday 15 December 2013

Not For Dog Treats

Mac the lovely man that he is had recognized I needed a break (or I am suspecting his lovely mother did) and took me away to Greytown to go stay in the very nice White Swan Inn. I even got a big three course meal and my bath ran for me!! 

After my two adventures gosh did I need a rest.  However the problem was when we get off the train in Masterton when we were supposed to be going to Greytown... not so good start to our wee getaway. However after sorting out that wee glitch by getting a taxi there we were fine.

The hotel was really nice, Mac was really nice, everything was really nice. 

We had such a nice time and it made me simply, happy. 

I hope you enjoy this picture of this FABULOUS man as much as I do :)

How To Have Fun Without A Dog

If you don't know this about me, I would probably say you don't know me very well. I am not very good at sitting still, EVER really but sometimes my body dictates especially now with this whole cancer thing that I must lie down.

Luckily the rest that is forced on by body is made better by having people to visit! It's literally been so wonderful so many friends have been spending such a huge time out in Paremata road. My friend Jess flew up simply to see me!

Luckily, this week I have had awesome events which have been able to distract me!! Philippa Boyens is honestly one of the kindest people I know. She is always so busy yet she found time to fit me in. from Phil, Fran and Katie coming to visit me in hospital before running off to premiere the movie in LA. I also got invited to go to the New Zealand Premiere with my friend Tessa (who again was up from christchurch to see me) we had the most wonderful night dressing up with the help of Sophie and Zoe. It was such a fun night and the movie is honestly so good. If anyone is tossing up going, just go. It's awesome!

The whole Hobbit cast has been so wonderful to me Richard Armitage wrote me such a wonderful email. He even said I was "you are such a wonderful, funny, thoughtful smart brave girl." which I must made my day that much better. He is such an amazing actor to not only think of me while busily promoting a movie but he also wrote me an email!

The very next day after I went to the Hobbit Premiere, I went to the Governor General's house for their christmas party! It is such a pretty place. Kate, Finn and Finn's mum Amanda got to meet the Governor General and his wife and son!

I remember saying at the beginning of blog that my life is surreal and judging by the last two days, it kind of is. My mother is worried I will turn into some Wellington socialite without realizing that I already am. It's always a hard question when people say to me "what do you do", my simplest and most truthful reply would be that 'I have fun' because that as shown by these two days is what I do!

I have had two of the best days of my life even without a dog!

 My awesome mother and father sending me off to the Hobbit
Zoe and Sophie who helped the lovely Tessa and I get ready
 Tessa and I red carpet ready
 AHHHHHH!!!! It's about to start!
 Kate and I outside Governor General's house

Wednesday 11 December 2013

Survival Of The Fittest

I can't believe how quickly time flies! Two weeks ago I went to the Taylor Swift concert in Auckland thanks to the wonderful Katie who gave me her tickets! It was so much fun! I finally was coming out of the other side of my pneumonia, which was great but I was still quite tired and I wasn't allowed to fly and wasn't up to driving. Mac cannot drive which I think is completely ridiculous, he maintains that it is a very normal thing, it's not.

So my mother and my brother kindly offered to drive us up to Auckland. We stopped in Taupo on the way there and back and spent two days in Auckland! I had such a wonderful time up there because we booked so late we ended up staying in the sky city!

It was so nice and really central! We arrived on the Friday afternoon and I promptly did what I do best and I had a nap then I woke up and demanded food so Mac went down to Elliot Sables and got us some very yummy pizza which I sat on the hotel bed eating watching cartoons.

Mother and Father suggested that I not go to the opening act to conserve my energy but it was 7 and I was ready and way to excited to sit still for a moment longer so we jumped in a cab and went down to Vector Arena. I managed to see my friend Lucy while getting drinks then do that silly wee dance you do while you sit down to Neon Tree's.

We had really good seats but poor Mac felt like he was a little bit of a fish out of water as most of the audience were young girls (and some young boys) and their parents. Sadly at 6 foot 3 there is no way really to hide him but I think he felt better when this fabulously gay man came and sat next to us. He was in his early 30's and came by himself because none of his friends would go with him. He knew every word to every song. His smile alone made my night.

It was such a good concert. She had amazing dancers and her stage was one of the most amazing ones I have ever seen! It was such a good night. I managed to do some awesome chair grooving (I managed to stand for a few songs but I would run out of breath pretty quickly.)

I spent all of saturday seeing my friends! I met up with my friend Claudia for brunch and we went to Depot which is the Al Brown restaurant! It was so delicious and it's always awesome seeing Clauds! I then spend the whole afternoon with some of my amazing friends from Boulcott (two of which drove up from Hamilton to see me!!) down in Britomart.

I then went and had a rest back at the hotel until my friend Josh came!! Josh has been in the Navy for the last couple of months in training to become and officer (from which he graduated and got a leadership award, could not be prouder of this amazing man. He is a seriously wonderful boy!) and went for dinner with him!

I even managed to get a drink with Chloe and Alex and Bex who were up in Auckland for the concert. I was so proud of how much I was able to do. My friends really do mean the world to me and to be able to see them and catch up was awesome!

It was such an amazing weekend and it was really nice considering how sick I had been it showed me how much I had got better which was so nice. After spending two weeks bedridden it was nice to have a change of scenery and see people who are so important to me that I never thought I would see again.

It's strange the things life throws in your face, the good and the bad and this weekend was certainly such a good time!!!

 We had such amazing seats
 Cheeky Selfie before the show
 Lunch with Claudia At Depot
Some of my wonderful from Boulcott