Monday, 16 September 2013

Mood Swings

The sadness creeps up slowly, sometimes it seems to disappear entirely but there is always this smidge of sadness which I can't properly shake. I wish I could but the truth is I am sad, don't get me wrong I am happy too but I am sad. Augustus said it right when he said "the marks humans leave are too often scars."

Everywhere I seem to look now I seem to be leaving scars and I hate it. I don't want to cause people pain but I don't know how to stop it. 

 I have reached that point in hyper exhaustion where my mood swings are involuntary and often uncontrollable. I will get angry for a very small, almost non-existant reason and then feel like crying then have fits of uncontrollable laughter. 

It is messing with my head. I have never had this little control over my emotions and it scares me. On the plus side I haven't been able to stop eating the past couple of days which may mean that I truly do end up in the plus side of life. 

Life moves on and it continues to move forward and I have so much to look forward to. I simply wish I had more control, more time, more puppy, more everything really. 

Especially more puppy. 

That would be nice. 

Red Panda's too!!


  1. Harriet, your writing is so candid! Even through all this 'trouble' you still put some kind of a positive spin on it. I know I don't know you that well, but if you ever want puppy time I will gladly bring Dixon over for cuddles! You're an amazing girl xxx

  2. Harriet you gorgeous creature...I wish I could give you a great big long hug. In a small way I understand how you're feeling, breast cancer has been my fight this year and occasionally the thought of leaving my kids and hubby behind physically pains me.
    Your writing touches the soul, you are amazing and beautiful and raw and real...thank you. You are in my thoughts. xx Em