Friday, 29 March 2013

Happiness Comes In Many Forms

I never thought I would be happy being told I have six more months to live but strangely I am. I got scans taken on Wednesday and the results are in and they are good. They are not you are going to live good but I that was never really a choice. At this point from the idea that I got at my first appointment they guessed I would have around six months. That would mean now I would only have 3-4 months left.

Yet the tumors have hardly grown. They have grown as that is the nature of cancer but they haven't grown that much!! I have been told that although this still only gives me months it means that I have more time to spend being happy and healthy!!

I am actually able to hope that I will be able to see my brother turn 18 and I may even get to turn 20!!! No longer have to be some annoying pre-teen. I sometimes forget that this news isn't as exciting for everyone else as I still die at the end of this all but this is one of the biggest gifts I could have gotten, more time.

I am going to use this time wisely! Dad has booked a family holiday! In just under three weeks I am going to Verona, Paris & Amsterdam. I am going to the Anne Frank house. This may be slightly morbid and I guess it is. I sometimes forget how much I have changed since I turned 18.

I know it made me grow up fast, I understand that but what I sometimes forget is how morbid it makes me. I don't really talk about it knowingly but it is such a constant presence that I forget that it is not normal for most people.

Sometimes I feel a bit lonely just because I don't really have anyone I know who has been in the situation as I have. This is why I feel in love with the book 'The Fault In Our Stars' by John Green. It's such a wonderful book, from somebody who had has cancer. It is probably the most true book as to how it really feels.

Hazel Grace and Augustus Waters, although they are only made up characters are my friends who help me through this. In this book the girl falls in love with a book (book-ception, me thinks) and it makes her want to go to Amsterdam and while she is there she goes to the Anne Frank house and this spectacular book made me want to do this exact same thing. 

This may not seem like a miracle but having more time being healthy for just a few more months is more than I could have hoped for. 

So Happy Easter!! Spend time with those you love, cherish them because everyday is precious.



  1. the Anne Frank House is quite an experience- I'm so glad you are going; it's definitely worth the effort :) Soak it up adventurous one xxx

  2. Yes, I can understand wanting to go there, Harriet. Anne Frank has always been a part of my thinking about being alive and being young and the tragedies that come. I am glad you liked this book. I wondered when I saw it in the bookshop - but wasn't sure. Another young woman I know loved it but she hadn't had cancer. Love the rabbit....

  3. When I said 'loved this book' I meant 'The Fault is in Our Stars'

  4. How lovely... Paris in the springtime. You enjoy every minute. I'm heading there too for a few days with my lovely daughter & husband in January, so will think of you. You are an inspiration to all, even those like me who have never met you feel blessed to have known you through your blog. Your calm strength is amazing, and must be a comfort to your family too. Have a wonderful trip and soak up the history and atmosphere of those amazing cities. Have a wonderful time young lady - you deserve it. :-)
    p.s. when in Amsterdam you should try their hot chips served with the dutch mayonnaise (not tomato sauce) from the street sellers - delicious!

  5. Hi Harriet
    A trip to Europe sounds like a great way to celebrate being a straight-A student! I hadn't heard of the Fault in Our Stars book before but I'm going to check it out. Saw John Green's author video on Amazon - he's a pretty funny guy!

    I'm stoked you're going to see Anne Franks's house; it sounds like it'll be a thought-provoking experience. Have you read the book of her diary?

    Safe travels - have a great time :)