One day this shall all be over but until then... just keep on fighting it.
It's hard. I will never be able to say it isn't. This week is testament to that. It was supposed to be my easy week and just no. It was not, at all. I wish I could just fast forward the next year but hey! Life isn't like that.
You get your ups, you get your downs. My life has been pretty easy. I can't believe the things I used to complain about. They seem so silly. So pathetic. Even now there are so many people who have it so much harder than me.
I tried to make a wish today as it was 11:11 on the 11/11/11. I ended up just being thankful for all the things that I have in my life. I can't tell you my wish but it wasn't for me. It never will be.
Don't get me wrong, I wish more than anything that I was a normal teenager, I wish I never had to go through any of this. I wish I didn't grow up so fast. I wish I could have the wild summer that I had planned.
But I still have my family, my friends and I am going to come through this fine. There are those who sit through this but on the side lines like my brother. Who see how much it hurts me and can do nothing but be there, Who would give anything to be in my place but can't.
Then imagine if I didn't make it. I don't even like to think about what it would do to my family. I can only begin to imagine the pain those poor families feel who loose their kids or sisters or parents to it.
So this is my fight. I will fight as hard as i possibly can because I never want to hurt you.
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Harriet, I have been following your blog since Fifi or Mary (can't remember who) posted about you on Face Book. Thank you for letting us into the world of your journey.
ReplyDeleteAs a parent, I have strived so hard to protect my girls from the pain and suffering of life (which I experienced growing up) but have come to realize that those very struggles were like the thickening of the tips of our fingers as we learn to play the guitar and they make us more than they mar us.
I do not want to come across as sappy or trite but I love the way you write and I ache for your parents and brother (and boyfriend) who have to sit on the sidelines. I know how that feels.
Kia kaha