Friday, 22 June 2012

To Be Human

I am no longer an alien. I no longer have probes sticking out of me!!! Today, I got my Hickman line taken out. Today, I took a step forward to being a normal teenager once again. I ended up having to have surgery to get it out but it is finally done and I am so happy!!!

It is a big step as it means that my blood counts are returning to normal! My parents are really excited by this, for me it was just another thing I had to do on the way to get better. What was more exciting for me was the feeling I had when I stayed over on Sunday at a friend's place.

It was odd, we were sitting in the lounge and they were taking the piss out of me for being so spoilt, keeping me grounded as only good friends can do. I was hogging the couch when I realized something, I didn't feel like a sick kid at all. I felt like a normal teenager hanging out with their mates.

It's not that I mind talking about being sick because it is part of who I am, it's what my life is based around at the moment. It was more the fact that whenever I used to leave hospital I would feel great because I would be healthier than most of the people on the ward but as soon as I got home I would realize how sick I still was compared to a normal person but I don't feel that anymore, I don't feel like I am on the same level yet but I am no longer looking at them like their level of health is a million times higher than mine.

I'm getting there.

PS Happy Birthday Toby, thank you for always being there whether it was bringing me my cheeseburgers or putting up with my bad jokes and just being a generally amazing friend.

Saturday, 16 June 2012

A Little Kindness

It's not hard to commit a random act of kindness. In Wellington, my favorite restaurant is a place called Arthur's. They have such yummy food but they are so nice to me every time I go in there. It's not hard to make my day but the fact that the staff there always so welcoming and nice. It makes it such a lovely experience going there.

When I was at Lady Gaga, I saw these two Japanese ladies in the seats in front of me and they had on the coolest colored wigs that I had ever seen. While we were waiting for Lady Gaga to go on I asked where they had got their wigs from and they replied that they had got them from Japan. 

I thought that this would be the end of our conversation but these lovely ladies came up to me after the show and asked me what my address was as they would send me their wigs. This was such unexpected kindness. These woman did not know me from a dot yet they were so kind.

These woman show what extraordinary people live on this earth. I found it so amazing they would chose to go so far out of their way for a stranger.   

This is one of gorgeous pink wig that arrived in the mail. 

PS Happy Birthday Jannie. I love you to the moon and back! xoxo

Monday, 11 June 2012

What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger

Today I managed 7.5km on the bike!! It's great because it means that my energy levels are coming back!! It's crazy to think that exactly 6 weeks ago I was getting out of hospital and having only enough energy to walk from my bed to the couch and only retreating back to bed when it was time to sleep usually having a nap on the couch during the afternoon. 

On Thursday, I went up to Auckland to the surgeon who said my leg is progressing well which is exciting!! Then we had lunch with one of our great family friends!!! I then had to have a nap but that evening we went to LADY GAGA!!! 

She was amazing!! She had a five level castle, more costume changes than you could count and she is an amazing performer. How she dances and sings like that for two and a half hour. It made me tired just watching her!! I spent the next 2 days in Auckland catching up with friends which was amazing. 

On Sunday, as I have done for many years I went to see the Warren Miller ski movie with the Walsh's. When I was younger I used to look at these movies and dream about being in them. I probably never would have been because those movies contain the best skiers in the world but it did make me realize that I could never do that now, never ski like that ever and that sucked.

Some dreams like skiing in a Warren Miller film or sailing in the Volvo Ocean Race probably never would have come true but it's hard to know that I am physically never going to be able to complete those dreams but I guess this gives way to new dreams.

Six weeks ago how I am now would seem like a dream. My dreams have changed through this whole experience, it's not that I have lost my old ones, I still would like to work for the UNCHR at some point in my life. I still want to help people too but I have new dreams like dancing with Anthony when he comes back from Dunedin or meddling in Toby's love life or just having lunch with Kate but more than anything I want to stay cancer free.