Saturday, 16 February 2013

The Hardest Thing I Will Ever Say

I have put off writing this and I keep on justifying it to myself by making multiple different excuses but the main reason I haven't written this is because I do not want to. I never wanted to tell anyone this, to put my family through this but like a lot of things I haven't really got a choice.

On February the 13th I went and had a CT scan which showed that I have tumors covering my entire lungs and this basically looks like the end of the road for me.

I wish I had better news to tell you but it's got about as bad as cancers get. 

On the upside I am moving into my hall in a week! I have loads of things to look forward to. I refuse to give up on life. I am going to keep living life to it's fullest until I simply can't anymore.

Don't feel too sorry for me. I have had a fabulous life and everybody has to die at some point and who knows I might even make it to twenty!! 

I have been extremely lucky in my life. I have had my family who adore and love me more than I deserve. I have better friends than anybody I know. I could not have asked for a better bunch. I have been to amazing places and done amazing things and lived with no real regrets.

This way I will NEVER have to get a job, learn how to cook more than 2 minute noodles or do anything mildly productive! I never have to grow up and I can forever be a kid!! Though my forever is shorter than most, I don't mind. What I do mind is that I am going to have leave everyone I love behind.

The people I love are amazing and I am so sorry for doing this for you. 

I am so very sorry.

I love you.