Saturday, 16 February 2013

The Hardest Thing I Will Ever Say

I have put off writing this and I keep on justifying it to myself by making multiple different excuses but the main reason I haven't written this is because I do not want to. I never wanted to tell anyone this, to put my family through this but like a lot of things I haven't really got a choice.

On February the 13th I went and had a CT scan which showed that I have tumors covering my entire lungs and this basically looks like the end of the road for me.

I wish I had better news to tell you but it's got about as bad as cancers get. 

On the upside I am moving into my hall in a week! I have loads of things to look forward to. I refuse to give up on life. I am going to keep living life to it's fullest until I simply can't anymore.

Don't feel too sorry for me. I have had a fabulous life and everybody has to die at some point and who knows I might even make it to twenty!! 

I have been extremely lucky in my life. I have had my family who adore and love me more than I deserve. I have better friends than anybody I know. I could not have asked for a better bunch. I have been to amazing places and done amazing things and lived with no real regrets.

This way I will NEVER have to get a job, learn how to cook more than 2 minute noodles or do anything mildly productive! I never have to grow up and I can forever be a kid!! Though my forever is shorter than most, I don't mind. What I do mind is that I am going to have leave everyone I love behind.

The people I love are amazing and I am so sorry for doing this for you. 

I am so very sorry.

I love you.
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5 comments:

  1. Anna Mary16 February 2013 at 04:13

    Harriet... Are you no longer responding to treatment? Can they be removed?
    What?
    -anna

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  2. Fifi Colston16 February 2013 at 16:01

    we all, for as far as the world you have touched love you too Hat xxx

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  3. Mary McCallum17 February 2013 at 00:05

    You are an astonishing and brave young woman, Harriet. I wish I had one tiny portion of your courage and amazingness. Yes, to getting to 20! More! More! For yourself - you deserve as much of this life as you can grab of it- and you make all our lives the better for being here. Thank you.

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  4. Anna17 February 2013 at 12:51

    Harriet, I am so sorry to hear this news. I too was diagnosed with Osteosarcoma early last year. My treatment finished in December last year and now am returning to normal life. I am so encouraged by your bravery and told myself I can do this as you had. I have been crying since reading your blog this morning. I too am scared and unsure of what life will bring. I guess we cannot dictate what our life will be and how it will be. We can only hope and trust in God completely.
    I will pray for you Harriet, you are truly a brave and insperational person. Do not give up for God does amazing things. A friend of mine who once nearly died from brain tumour said, cancer is a win win situation. If we die, we meet our creator, if we live, we get to return to our family.
    Live you life to the fullest now my frend and God be with you.

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  5. Spollish girl7 March 2013 at 16:44

    Hi Harriet. You don't know me, but I've followed you progress from afar for the last couple of years. I just wanted to say how inspirational you are, and that you are in my thoughts.
    Much love,
    Ruth

    ReplyDelete

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