Mood Swings

The sadness creeps up slowly, sometimes it seems to disappear entirely but there is always this smidge of sadness which I can't properly shake. I wish I could but the truth is I am sad, don't get me wrong I am happy too but I am sad. Augustus said it right when he said "the marks humans leave are too often scars."

Everywhere I seem to look now I seem to be leaving scars and I hate it. I don't want to cause people pain but I don't know how to stop it. 

 I have reached that point in hyper exhaustion where my mood swings are involuntary and often uncontrollable. I will get angry for a very small, almost non-existant reason and then feel like crying then have fits of uncontrollable laughter. 

It is messing with my head. I have never had this little control over my emotions and it scares me. On the plus side I haven't been able to stop eating the past couple of days which may mean that I truly do end up in the plus side of life. 

Life moves on and it continues to move forward and I have so much to look forward to. I simply wish I had more control, more time, more puppy, more everything really. 

Especially more puppy. 

That would be nice. 

Red Panda's too!!