I am so close yet so far. My methotrexate levels are 0.02 too high. This is soo annoying as I got them down from being in the hundreds to 0.08 but I guess this is what my life is, just waiting to be told that I am adequately healthy to being dragged back to become sick yet again.
The end is in sight but not so close that I can begin to get really excited. On this day in a term and a half I will be dancing like there is no tomorrow and that's because there will be no chemo tomorrow or hopefully ever again but that is a about 15 weeks away.
At the moment I am having to say goodbye to my friends. They are all moving on with their lives. It was really hard last night because one of my best friends Toby came in to see me. I am going to have afternoon tea with him on Monday but this was the last tine with it just being us.
I couldn't really help it, I am rather ashamed but I was a bit of mess. He as with so many of my friends have been here week in week out.
Chemo is hard but not just for me, it's hard for everyone. My friends who have watched me going from the overly social healthy 18 year old to nothing more than a shell who is so sick that I hardly remember what I saying. They have been there for it all.
I couldn't ask for a better group of friends. So thank you for being there and I love you.
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