I AM GOING TO LIVE!!!!

I am so happy, it's hard to describe how I am feeling. I keep on randomly breaking down into tears because I am soo happy. I can't stop laughing, crying and smiling out of sheer joy.

When I got my bad histology results I had to slowly came to terms with the fact that I was unlikely to live past the age of 20. I had to at 18 years old face the fact that it was unlikely that I would live long enough to see my brother start university.

I startred to look over my life and appreciate how lucky I have been. I have had one of the most amazing life. Most people don't get to see the sun set in Africa, the beauty that is the sunflower fields in the south of France, explore Petra (a city that was lost for hundreds of year), sail on the Turkish sea's, ski in the mountains in Japan, America and Canada and so many more experiences.

Then I thought about the people I love and those who I would leave behind, I thought about what I could do to make loosing me easier for them. I thought about how I could make the fact that they lost a sister, a daughter, a niece, a best friend.

I had to thank god about how lucky I had been to experience so many amazing experiences and been introduced to so many amazing people. I had to thank god for the life that he let me live.

When I had my bad histology results I had accepted the fact that I would not grow to be old, I had to say goodbye to those I loved. I was thinking about not continuing with chemo because I didn't want to spend the little time I had being sick.

And now I am going to live, I don't have to think about how my death would hurt those who love me so much. I am so unbelievably grateful for this. So unbelievebly happy that I start randomly crying because I so happy that  I AM GOING NOWHERE!

I AM GOING TO LIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!